5 ways to help your child manage emotions

5 ways to help your child manage emotions
10 August, 2020

When children do not feel well, they cannot behave well.

If we don't take care of their feelings first, we don't have much chance of getting their cooperation. When their feelings are accepted, people feel relieved. - Understands me. I feel better. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe I can handle it.


1. Mirror feelings into words. Express the emotion that the child feels in a sentence.

For example - When a child says, "This puzzle is too heavy!"

Instead of telling him, “No, it's not. It's easy. Look, I'm helping you. Here, I found a piece for the corner. ”

Try: “Ugh, puzzles can be very frustrating! All these tiny pieces can be super annoying. ”

Thus, you give the child an elementary vocabulary of feelings that he can use when he needs it. When he can shout "I'M FRUSTRATED!" Instead of biting, slamming, and hitting, then you will feel the thrill of triumph!

All feelings can be accepted. Some actions need to be limited!

The best way to help a child "get over the emotion" is to help him get through it.

Children need us to validate their feelings so that they can become adults who know who they are and how they feel. At the same time, we build the foundation of a person who can respect and not reject the needs and feelings of other people.

It is extremely tempting to continue a statement of acceptance of a feeling with the word BUT. If you feel that a DAR is approaching, you can replace it with The problem is that or Even if you know ...

2. Mirror your feelings in writing. Accepting feelings actually helps children understand that they can't always get what they want. For example - in the toy store write the wish list. It is important for the child to have a parent who is attentive to how he feels when he longs for something and this helps the child to develop a very important skill in life, that of postponing satisfaction.

3. Mirror feelings through art. Find the emotion, be theatrical!

4. Offer in fantasy what you cannot offer in reality. Resist the urge to ask questions of a child when he is troubled. By making a statement instead of asking a question, we accept feelings without asking for any justification. You don't have to understand the cause of the feelings to empathize.

5. Mirror the feelings with (almost) silent attention. "Oh!" "Mmm." "Ooh." "Oh my."

Resist the urge to ask questions of a child when he is troubled.

The most important thing is to give them our full attention and trust that they can solve their problems.


Source: "How to talk to children so that they can listen to us - a survival guide for parents with children aged 2-7"

Joanna Faber, Julie King




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